Taeyeon's Harper's Bazaar Magazine Interview - May 2023

 

Today is April Fools day. Did you make any pranks before coming here?

Taeyeon: Not at all. I don’t think I’ve made pranks on April Fools in my whole life. I’m bad at it so I think I’d get caught, and I don’t have high expectations from the pranks I create.

 

Then do you think you’re not talented in that sense?

Taeyeon: I’m not that smart. I trust people well, so instead I get caught [falls for the April Fool jokes].

 

Maybe you don’t like deceiving someone as a joke and making them feel flustered.

Taeyeon: That’s right. It’s not fun when it’s to that extent.

 

Recently, one step late, you went to visit a birthday cafe prepared by your fans. Did you feel the hearts of the fans over there?

Taeyeon: It’s a shame to just move on from it, so I wanted to show my heart with something at least because I was grateful. The event had already ended, but I wanted to feel the traces of the fans. I imagined the fans would’ve enjoyed it in this way.

 

You might have felt more affectionate when you went back there after it was over.

Taeyeon: Honestly, I was thinking about visiting on my birthday, but I put that idea aside for everyone’s safety. And, if I had gone and met someone and then couldn’t meet someone else then it would be sad, so I went on my own quietly.

 

You went to the subway station to see the birthday advertisement prepared by the fans, but you were surprised to see that no one recognised you.

Taeyeon: If someone had recognised me, I was going to say hello and take photos but surprisingly no one did and most of them walked just looking at the floor. It’s busy, it’s busy, this modern society (Laughs). On the other hand, I thought I won’t have to be so scared and wary in the future.

 

Anyhow, you can’t help but be conscious of the attention/eyes?

Taeyeon: That’s right. There have been many uncomfortable situations. Of course there are times when I want to spend time alone because I’m also a person. But at the same time, I’d be very thankful if someone recognized me. It takes courage to say hello. There might come a time when no one recognizes me. These days I’ve been thinking about how thankful I am for this moment. 

 

Then I guess you’ve never traveled alone.

Taeyeon: Yes. I’m a little scared. Many people know that I like to be alone but as I get older, I feel so lonely when I’m alone. I don’t think I really like being alone after all.

 

There’s a title ‘home fairy’. I think it’s a different concept from liking being alone.

Taeyeon: That’s right. The reason I like staying at home is the comfort of not having to care about [another person’s] gaze. Because of my personality, if there’s someone beside me I tend to care a lot and be involved in their business. My stamina is not good so it drops fast and I get tired easily, so I end up wanting to go into a hole somewhere. 

 

Who do you feel full of energy with?

Taeyeon: I like it the most when I have a small number of people that I’m close with and can call ‘my people’. 

 

You used the expression ‘오지랖’, and I think Taeyeon has a better sense of reading and feeling the emotions of people around her rather than acting outwardly. That’s why you feel tired easily.

Taeyeon: I think that’s being empathetic, but my level of empathy is so high that I’m able to say this myself. So I have a lot of thoughts and I get emotionally dizzy.

 

*오지랖 = To get involved in other people’s business (can be good or bad).

 

So that’s how you can sing like that. Taeyeon’s voice contains several emotions. I’ve never seen a vocalist who possesses so many various textures. You seem to be a person who explores your potential and uncharted territories. It feels like vocalist Taeyeon is happily challenging and cultivating herself to discover new elements of herself with various composers.

Taeyeon: It’s my first time hearing that from someone else, but I’ve also had these thoughts ever so often. I’ve wanted to keep testing my limitations because of the joy I feel when the composer is satisfied. Every time, the feeling and emotions are different. I’m also very curious about how the skills of my present self will come out. That’s why I tend to try a variety of things.

 

I think there’s a separate label called ‘Taeyeon’ in SM Entertainment. I get the impression that it’s an independent world. You’re renewing your capabilities within the unique worldview of ‘Taeyeon’. I’m curious about how you practice your songs.

Taeyeon: In the early phases of recording a song, I sing it in various ways to familiarize myself with it. I openly imagine and interpret it in different ways, but I don’t think I keep practicing the one song. I think depending on my condition and mood that day, I can sing the same song in different variations. For example, in singing ‘Four Seasons’, though it’s the same lyrics and content about a breakup, I think I can sing it even more cynically today. I tend to leave it to the emotions of that moment.

 

What about when recording a song?

Taeyeon: It’s a bit different, because this is the official digital track. I try various things during the recording process. I’m always looking for shared understanding and communication with the composers or producers, and I tend to compromise. I’m not the type to push my opinion no matter what, so I rely on them.

 

Isn’t that a real professional? That’s why solo Taeyeon’s music world can be flexible and colorful. In the recording studio, Taeyeon’s perfectionist tendencies are well revealed so, personally, my favorite videos are the ‘Recording Behind’.

Taeyeon: I didn’t pay attention to the camera at the time and I really concentrated on the song. When you watch the video, I look really candid and I think ‘Is it okay to be shown like this’ and I feel a little embarrassed. But it’s a process that the fans are curious about, so I’m showing it with courage.

 

Taeyeon’s beauty shines the most when she’s doing her main job.

Taeyeon: I’ll continue to work hard in my main job (Laughs).

 

If one has enough emotions but not the skills, then they can’t express the song, and if one only knows their role and lacks the emotions, the flavor and depth of the song will decrease. But Taeyeon has all these elements balanced so it leaves an impression that she can use the song freely.

Taeyeon: Thank you so much for the compliment. But I don’t think I’m exceptionally good. Should I say each person has a shape? I think everyone has their own framework. I think it’s just about what each person can try their best to show within it. 

 

If we look at the vocal-related accounts on Youtube, there are many videos that analyze Taeyeon’s high notes. Taeyeon’s high notes are said to sound relatively bright and clear because the positioning of the sound is relatively ahead (using a mixed voice). What kind of know-hows do you have?

Taeyeon: You can learn singing from books, but truthfully there’s no answer. I think that it’s good if you can make a nice sound. Even though that might sound a little vague. At the beginning of my debut my high notes were thicker than they are now. I had a strong voice, but it got gradually thinner. I worried about the reason for that and fell into a slump. Since I have to dance and sing a lot, I ended up using muscles that I didn’t have to use. The vocal cords are also muscles, so as I sang while controlling my breathing and movement, the sound became thinner. I also accepted this as a natural change [in my voice]. There are people who like the high notes of ‘Into The New World’ and now there are people who like the high notes of ‘INVU’, but in the end I think it’s a matter of persuasion. 

 

It’s about convincing the public.

Taeyeon: Yes. Time after time, I’ll show myself and try various things. It may be that I’m trying to understand or that I’m trying to convince. 

 

When you introduced the song ‘Nights into Days’, you described your voice as ‘A rough and calm vocal’. What do you think of your voice? 

Taeyeon: I think it’s the same as my name. My voice is calm. It’s not extremely exciting, and it’s not deep sadness. It feels calm.

 

It’s more like minimalism. But it’s not boring.

Taeyeon: I don’t like boring things either. 

 

You seem to have an excellent hunch as an artist, but ‘INVU’ is a song that you insisted on advocating for.

Taeyeon: I’m over 30 years old, but honestly I wanted to make my voice heard like this at least once, and I was really confident with the song. I really wanted to sing it. The staff were also accommodating and helped me.

 

When working, when do you feel the most sensitive?

Taeyeon: In the process of going on stage, when the whole thing doesn’t go as planned for someone. You just have to pay a little attention to that. I think I get sensitive when I don’t feel that sense of attention to detail. I think that is consideration in the end. The reason why I care about being considerate to people may be because I want others to be considerate of me.

 

In a live video not too long ago, the fans brought up the topic of ‘concert’ and you said to ‘Wait a little’. What kind of stage is it? I don’t think a concert would be an easy task for a perfectionist like Taeyeon.

Taeyeon: Actually, the biggest stress these days is preparing for the concert. The process is not easy anyways. To be honest, it’s natural to get stressed out. I think I was born as the type of person who cares a lot. I’ll worry about the concert while using the stress to work hard.

 

You’ve been active for about 16 years since your debut in 2007, is there a virtue that you think you shouldn’t let go of as an artist?

Taeyeon: When I get asked such a deep question like this, I have a lot of thoughts... I suddenly thought of so many words.

 

Just throw it at me.

Taeyeon: Confidence and being natural!

 

Are you feeling confident?

Taeyeon: Nope (Laughs). 

 

Sorry? (Laughs). So you have the perception an artist needs confidence, what’s the reason for that? 

Taeyeon: So that when you are showing something, you can express yourself. You have to be sure. For example, during a rehearsal, I have to only listen to the completed sound before moving on to the next stage. I can do it only if the sound comes out a certain way, if I got this much out during a rehearsal, then I can cover the entire hall!

 

It seems you have enough confidence. That must be the secret to filling a stage on your own. 

Taeyeon: No. I have to do better. Ah, I think I have to write in my diary today.

 

You normally use a diary.

Taeyeon: I don’t write much these days.

 

Do you read your diaries every once in a while?

Taeyeon: Nope. It’s so hard to look at it. I have lots of regret, and I tend to kick myself, but I put a lot of those emotions in my diary. Should I say I throw them away in there? Because I use my diary in that way, I don't open and look at the ones I threw away again.

 

Which do you think you’re more conscious of, other people’s gaze or your own?

Taeyeon: Ah, it’s hard. It’s the first time I get this question… Um, my own gaze. I feel the flow of time more these days. In the past, I lost track of time because of my busy schedule, and I lived thinking things like, ‘The sky is the sky’, but now the sky looks different in every moment. I’m aware that this is the sky that I can only see now. I guess it’s a time where I give meaning to the trivial daily life and feel the preciousness of it. When I was filming [a photoshoot for Louis Vuitton] today, I used to think before that a bag is a bag, but now it’s interesting to see how pretty it looks.

 

Can we say that your taste has become more diverse?

Taeyeon: I think it’s interest. My interests have increased. I wasn’t interested in the camera, because I was always being photographed. But recently, I became interested in cameras and like using them.

 

Not being filmed, but filming something?

Taeyeon: That’s right. Taking photos. Looking at just my personality, I prefer taking pictures than being filmed. It’s good to make the person in front of the camera comfortable. It would also be good if the person being filmed feels satisfied because of me, but I can’t do that yet. I think I need to study more.

 

I’m sure you’ve had a lot of uncomfortable moments while living as a well-known person with an introverted personality. You have to tolerate the attention of people to do music that you like.

Taeyeon: I’ve been thinking that I’ve lived with so many things that I have had to tolerate. But I think all of that is learning. So that’s why I’ve been able to do this job until now. 

 

Is there a trick to get out of a dark well of anxiety or worries quickly? 

Taeyeon: It’s simple. Change your hairstyle or buy something that you really want to buy. I don’t have enough energy to do something big. Because it’s too much of a mental and emotional state, I think these things spark me in a small way.

 

As artist Taeyeon and human Kim Taeyeon, is there a look (of yourself) that you like? I think both sides would be very different.

Taeyeon: I definitely like the flashy side of me when I’m under the lights. Usually, I like to put my hair up or show my messy baby hairs. In commercial shoots, there are many times when even a little bit of messiness is unacceptable. I really like the sloppy ‘me’ in daily life. I really like myself when I don’t wash my hair for a day and when I have just finished working out.

 

Why when you’ve just finished working out?

Taeyeon: It’s a little bit of a glow. I can feel my daily health. I like smelling like a human. Since I show a lot of my AI-like side on stage (Laughs). 

 

When you meet your juniors on a variety show, the image of you trying to talk to them first and treating them comfortably is warm. Do juniors contact you first?

Taeyeon: Nope. I think they’re shy to talk to me? (Laughs). That’s why I speak to them first. Especially during filming <Amazing Saturday> . There honestly aren’t many opportunities for them to see me other than that. I tell them things like, “You did well” and “How long will you be promoting”. You can come to me first… Am I difficult [to approach]?

 

Just having a senior who is walking firmly on her own path gives you a lot of strength. What kind of senior do you want to be?

Taeyeon: I don’t think age matters that much. We’re colleagues. Since we’re people doing the same thing, you don’t have to be hard on the other as a senior and having respect for each other is enough. Of course there may be differences in built-up experiences in one area, but that’s just a more experienced person. I want to be a colleague who is like a friend to my juniors.

 

Translated by @309KTYSS

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